Thursday, July 06, 2006

"I know your garden's full / But is there sweetness at all?"

The above line is from the song by U2, "Wild Honey," which I was listening to on my way home from Henniker. It really rang some bells in my head. For the last couple years, my garden's definitely been full--almost too full at times, it feels like. So busy, and yet not accomplishing what I meant to.

So where's the sweetness? Why haven't I been leaving room for it?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Almost Home

As I sit here on my bed in Henniker, NH and think about all that's happened since I've been here, and all that will happen when I get home, it's a little mind-boggling. My life has changed dramatically in the last few days, and all I could do was sit back and watch it happen.

I love being here. I love being surrounded by so much talent, so much knowledge, so much willingness. This residency went so fast, it seems; not like in previous residencies, which had kind of a "hitting the wall" moment about halfway through, and then you had to grind your way through the remaining days until it was time to go home. I'm leaving here tomorrow actually wishing I could stay longer, absorb more.

One thing is certain, however; I have a renewed commitment to finding and/or developing a creative community for myself back home. It's more important to me now than ever. All those things I keep thinking about doing....setting up a reading, teaching workshops, etc.....it's time to do them. The recent change in employment (I'll let anybody who is following this blog regularly work that one out) has wrought in me a sort of delight, actually, once the grief washed over, that I might devote much more of my time and energy to what I REALLY want to be doing, not to what I feel I need to do to make ends meet. There were many aspects to being self-employed that I truly was grateful for....flexibility of time, and so on, but in actuality there is also the added risk of being consumed by work, under pressure of not making enough money to buy groceries or pay the electric bill, which makes being able to concentrate on artistic endeavors difficult.

It's time.