Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Almost June Already

I can't believe how fast the last six months have gone. It's nearly June already. Where did the time go? I'm finishing up my last packet for school this week. It'll be my birthday in two weeks (PS open invitation to the party at my house on the 11th).

It feels like there is so much in the air right now....maybe partly because it's spring, of course, but I mean like the feelings of change are all over the place. Change for me, change for my friends. I think that spring is a time when we all kind of "wake up" from the winter and as the snow melts off the ground, we get to see the grass again and in the same way we kind of get a glimpse of ourselves again, and sometimes we don't like what we see....did I explain that well? I hope it's not too muddy.

I like a lot of what I see in myself right now. There are a few things still to work on, and of course some long-term projects, but I think about where I was six months ago and where I am now, and it's like night and day. I had a very reaffirming phone call last week with someone I worked alongside at the church, who said that she had wanted to take me out for coffee or something before I left, to tell me that she understood the real reason why I was going. Yes, it was about school and needing to focus on that, but as much as that was a pull factor there were also tons of PUSH factors urging me to get the heck out of there. She said she couldn't get involved because she serves as a denominational representative and because of all the political-like implications that would have, she kept her mouth shut. But it felt great to hear someone else say that they saw what I was going through, that it really wasn't just me being unable to deal. Okay, it was me being unable to deal, but this was a choice of whether or not it was even worth it to deal, and I decided it wasn't anymore.

I'd like to refocus on my own personal health and balance, but that's coming along with everything else. It's funny when you have so much else going on and it's all great, how easy it is to overlook something as important as being healthy and in shape. I need to get running again now that the weather's nice. In addition, my own personal habit of being incredibly messy has kind of come to a head with me being home a lot of the time, and I know it drives Ryan nuts and it's beginning to drive me nuts as well. So that needs work.

Well, I'm going to finish up revising this poem and then Sarah Storbeck's coming over at 1:00. Hooray!