Friday, October 07, 2005

Blast from the Past

I think I have reached that point in my life where I am suddenly very interested in what has happened to the people I went to high school with. This directly follows the period of time where I never wanted to think about that time of my life ever again, a la early-twenties angst. I'll be honest, it wasn't the most fun for me, those days at good ol' Lansing Eastern High. It had its high points, but most of the time I felt insecure, unpopular, unattractive to the opposite sex, and altogether too smart to be fun to be around. I didn't feel like I fit in much of anywhere....not exactly a band geek, not exactly a drama queen, nor the "D&D dorks," nor the nerds, nor the goths, nor the alternateens. I was exactly in the middle, which left me nowhere. Or so it felt.

And I assumed, actually, that no one much missed me after I went. I had a few friends I hung onto who sympathized with my emotional plight, and still have them to this day. But the other day, lo and behold, I got an email from a girl in my graduating class who I had long assumed I would never see or talk to again. We had been friends more in middle school than high school, and I thought maybe I'd see her an a reunion or something, but her approach me? Nah. (Funny how we assume that people don't care) But true enough, she emailed me and we've begun a fun conversation, which prompted me to go check out the new alumni website for the high school and see if anyone else I knew was around.....and sure enough, they were!

I guess I'm really having to reevaluate that old insecurity....because see, now, here is proof that I wasn't the total nobody I thought I was back then. And of course there were people there that I'd just as soon as never see again, but on the whole maybe not everyone was in that group. In fact, maybe most people weren't.

So I'm kind of reclaiming that time of my life right now....looking back to see what good there was. I did learn a lot, I had some of the best teachers I've ever had in my life (long live Spag, retired but not forgotten), and made some lasting friends--maybe more than I've reckoned. I think high school is rough on everyone, whether or not they care to admit it. And let's face it--if, by the time you approach 30, you still say that high school was the best time of your life--maybe you should be examining how you spend your time! LOL Because these days it seems every year was a great year....every year was the best time of my life, in its own way....I don't have glory days (although I came pretty close to it in college) because they're all glorious.

1 Comments:

At 3:15 PM, Blogger cathleen said...

Aww... it's funny. I felt the same way in high school. I was mostly a band nerd, but also did the Academic Decathlong thing. Hung a bit with the D&D & Drama & Alternateen crowds (who had lots of overlap among their ranks as well.) and, even had a little interacion with the kids on the popular fringe.

By the time I reached my senior year, I felt comfortable floating between a few groups and having some random friends, but nonetheless I spent most of high school feeling like a flat-chested, braces-wearing nerd.

Amazing how long that stuff stays with you. But also interesting how ten years later, people who were only midly friendly with you back then, are now surprised when you admit that you felt like you weren't cool enough.

 

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